oldstarnewshine : sorry for the random abandonment, my roommate is very not good at plunging the toilet and we may have broken the house
spatialrift47 : good job
oldstarnewshine : i did nothing!
oldstarnewshine : i just watched
spatialrift47 : uh huh
oldstarnewshine : ...seriously
spatialrift47: i feel like your mere presence was enough to cause comical errors
oldstarnewshine: shush
oldstarnewshine: the funny part was when, after she already caused a leak in the roof, she decided to try again
spatialrift47: wait wait
spatialrift47: how did this go from a clogged toilet to a leaky roof?
oldstarnewshine: we're on the second floor
oldstarnewshine: floor is roof as floor is roof and you are he and we are all together
spatialrift47: http://xkcd.com/349/
oldstarnewshine: pretty much
oldstarnewshine: then my friend broke one of the bannister pillars
spatialrift47: ...
oldstarnewshine: now we're waiting for housing to show up and not touching anything a lot
spatialrift47: GOOD PLAN

Waters of Mars = AMAZING
Thomas Hector Schofield = ADORABLE
Seven = AWESOME
Doctor Who fandom resurgence = BEST WEEK EVER

Oh, and I'm walking all the way to Best Buy later to buy me a Star Trek DVD. AHHHHH

It is halftime at the Mich/Wisconsin game, and I am now watching the guy streaming the game play Modern Warfare 2. Everyone in the chatroom is cheering him on.

I love the internet.

As of 11:40 this morning, I have officially registered for my classes!  (It was supposed to be 10:30 this morning, but I overslept because I was having a dream about rereading Twilight and it suddenly having gotten good (seriously) which segued into a political intrigue thriller that my possibly-corrupted dream partner ruined by spilling nacho cheese on the evidence when I was trying to introduce him to my grandmother.)

The classes are:
EN 323 British Lit 2: MWF 10-11
EN 364 Shakespeare II TR 12:30-2
LJ 212 Japanese 4 MTWF 3-4
LJ 283 Modern Japanese Culture In Cinema TR 11-12:30, M 6-8

Shakespeare you can take in any order, they just only have one in the fall and one in the spring.  No Hamlet, sadface, but Henry V, which is good cause I'm going to see a production of that in February.  BritLit you're supposed to take in order, but you don't have to, and a) there were no BritLit I classes that didn't majorly screw up my schedule and b) after a semester of two, count em, two intro level English couses, if I had to read Beowulf and Sir Gawain for the eighty bazillionth time I was going to have to beat some people up.  I'm a little upset that the only Japanese that fit in my schedule was the late class, but I think most of the same people from the last two semesters are gonna be in it, so that's consolation.  And I am so excited for the film class.  I spent a lot of my summer watching oddball Japanese movies my dad picked out (everybody watch Tampopo, it is seriously one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.  It's a western about ramen in 80s Japan and it makes little to no sense, but it's still goddamn hilarious), so this seems like the natural extension of that, plus I love film (hello, future critic here) and I love Japanese film in particular (plus I'm excited to be reaching out beyond Akira Kurosawa more.  I've seen basically all his films!).  Also it should really help with the language, which I've been having issues with this semsester due to not studying ever. 

All in all I'm really really really glad to finally be out of intro classes and able to take the fun stuff.  Not that doing the whole Great Books, read-all-of-classical-literature-in-four-months gig wasn't interesting, but "learning how to write a paper" for the fourth (not exaggerating) time is getting really obnoxious.  I'll be really relieved to finally be in a class where the concern isn't so much about the ability to write papers as what you put into them.  And as much as I love the language, I'll be glad to not be taking French anymore.  It just gets too confusing.  I answered three of my French teacher's questions in Japanese the other day (he had put it to the whole class, so he didn't really hear me, thank God).

Guys, I took a powernap this afternoon, and I had this incredibly vivid dream about Star Trek: Voyager, of which I have never seen an episode in my life. 

The hell?

--Earth-is-engulfed-by-red-giant-Sun Apocalypse (guaranteed to happen, but most probable you will be dead.)
--Nuclear apocalypse
--Giant-meteor-crashes-into-Earth-and-giant-cloud-of-ash-covers-everything Apocalypse
--Zombie apocalypse (I have to put it on the list, but there are approximately zero chances of this happening.  Freaking pop culture.)
--Carrying-capacity-is-reached-and-entire-population-is-forced-to-live-on-40%-of-the-current-available-space Apocalypse (About 924739% less discussed than the Zombie Apocalypse, but the one most likely to actually happen)
--Mildly-narcotic-water-hungry-plant-takes-over-the-world Apocalypse

They were making sundaes tonight in the dining hall.  YAY HARD ICE CREAM.  So of course I got mine and put appx. an entire bag of M&Ms on top and then sat down and put my iPod on shuffle, as you do.

Ride of the Valkyries came on.

It was the most intense ice cream eating experience of my life.

I keep meaning to update this as my life, you know, actually happens, but then I decide to sleep instead. (Seriously-- I've been in sort of a consistent state of exhaustion for the past two weeks or so. I think there have been nights where I haven't gotten any REM at all. WTF.)  I really am going to be better at it, I swear.  At least now midterms are over I won't be overwhelmed and can take the time out to make a non-spastic non-suicidal non-drop-out-of-college-and-become-a-pastry-chef post. 

I dunno if I posted already that I got called for jury duty on Tuesday.  I have been known to have the worst luck in the world (no really), so I was sure I was gonna get picked for a trial that would last a month and ruin my semester and thus my life (in all honesty, stressing about this ruined the better part of the last two weeks.  I am completely insane), but no big-- we were dismissed at 10:30, so there goes my jury obligation for the rest of my college years, thank the lord.  The obnoxious part turned out to be the transport.  I weirdly got called to the courthouse in Roxbury instead of the much-more-convenient central courthouse at Government Center, which is like two T stops away.  No, I had to take the frigging bus (I really don't like buses, especially when you have to call your stop, and boy howdy is that hard when you don't know where your stop is).  It did turn out alright; the Boston buses are very nice and well kept and large (only I was wearing a skirt and tights and was in serious danger of sliding off the seat every time we banked) and I was able to recognize the street names around where my stop was so I could call for it.  The obnoxious part was that the bus I took doesn't go all the way back to Kenmore in the afternoon, it only goes to Ruggles, which was, thank god, also an Orange Line stop for the T, only Orange goes pretty much perpendicular to Green and thus I had to take the bus to Ruggles, and then the Orange to the Red to the Green B to get home-- basically all the way into central Boston before I could get on the right T home.  It took about two hours.  IDEK.

Basically the lesson here is if you're visiting Boston?  SERIOUSLY CHECK YOUR TRAVEL TIMES.

Other than that it has basically been a whirlwind of midterms and Japanese skits.  When we do group projects I'm almost invariably The Responsible One, but this was totally taken to new levels with my skit partner.  Not only did she not contact me before the draft was due (I wrote the whole thing), but she changed a ton of the grammar in editing the final and only sent it to me at 9 PM the night before, so not only did we have no practice but I had to memorize entirely new lines.  What the everloving fuck.  I mean, with my total lack of remembrance of last year's stuff I'm already doing bad enough in Japanese that really blowing off the 5%-of-our-total-grade-skit is not something that I'm happy-go-lucky about.  The rest of the midterm week went pretty well-- I aced my books mid, thank you young self for being obsessed with greek mythology, and my Keats/Dylan Thomas comparison paper was aces; I'm seriously proud of it.  Not too often I come up with a thesis that I can pull through the entire paper cohesively and which I also actually think is accurate.  Also, Keats and Thomas!  It's always a treat to get to write a paper on something you enjoy.

I'm up to S7 in DS9, which only gets more and more amazing.  Besides being wacky with my housemates, keeping up with the current tv season and going to class, watching DS9 is basically the only thing I'm doing.  I'm probably going to fanmix the shit out of it when I'm finished-- I find myself associating pretty much every song that comes up on shuffle with it-- and maybe, if I suddenly find myself with a ludicrous amount of free time, vid something.  Shouldn't let this shiny vid software go to waste.

Hey guys.  I'm having the CRAPPIEST week, I don't even know.  It's mostly of my own design, because I'm terrible at studying and just generally being a focused, organized person. So, flist, help a sister out, tell me your study/focusing secrets.  Please.  I'm desperate.  (Although, I love you and all, but if one more person tells me to study outside my dorm room or to set small goals I will kill them, so maybe a little less obvious?)  I will totally do something for you guys in return, if you guys wanna lob suggestions at me :}

Hey guys!  I know I haven't posted in a while, I've been doing that thing all week where I go "this would make a great livejournal entry!" and then forgotten what it was when I got back to the internet.  Here's what's been doing with me:

-- Saw Richard Thompson and Louden Wainwright III on Sunday.  It was so mindblowingly amazing.  Louden did a whole bunch of "songs for the new Depression", aka songs about Cash For Clunkers and The New York Times op-ed page.  He was hilarious.  And RT... I just love him so much.  He played a ton of my personal favorites: "Johnny's Far Away" (to which he gave a lengthy introduction re: it's conception, as it's very silly, a modern sea shanty), "Beeswing", "Cooksferry Queen", "Crawl Back", "Vincent Black Lightning"... and a couple of new songs, which is always cool.  In the middle of his set, a woman yelled out for him to play "Bathsheba Smiles" and he did so, and then everyone started yelling songs, and after a while it was just ridiculous and then someone yelled "Freebird!" and we all cracked up.  RT sort of looked at the audience and said "I'm going to play this now.  If that's OK with you."  He's just such a personable guy, and he really loves his fans.  It was amazing.  I got him to sign my ticket afterwards, he was awkward but sweet.  I'm so freaking happy that I got to see him at least once and he might be coming back solo next year.  <333

--No news on creeperboy front.  He texted me a couple times over the weekend but that was it.  Hopefully he got the message.  I didn't go to anime club tonight, but that was because I was out eating ramen with Japanese House people (yay, socialization!).  I'mma try to go next week and hope for the best.

--Discovery: there's a small but stocked Asian grocery up in West Campus (like, a ten minute walk).  I AM GOING TO BE BUYING SO MUCH RAMUNE.  It was right by the ramen place we went tonight, so we went shopping, where besides peach ramune I got red bean mochi ice cream, which is so delicious.  I will be making MANY TRIPS THERE.  But they do not have green tea pocky, so my search continues eternal.

--I'm sort of, kind of, maybe making friends here.  It's incredibly happymaking.  I'm trying to not jump all over said people, but it's such a change to have people you can just sort of chill with and talk to without knowing it's just for show or that there's subtext going on.  We're just all friendly with each other in the house, and there's a couple of people in my classes who acknowledge me outside of said class.

--I'm completely head over heels for Star Trek Deep Space Nine (if you're wondering why the promised TNG rec post hasn't happened yet, it's because I just keep watching DS9 instead).  I don't know if I'd say it's my favorite Trek, it's wildly inconsistant, but I adore and really care about almost all of the characters, which almost never happens to me (and even the ones I don't like, I find watchable and well-drawn).   Even on TNG, some of the characters just never stuck with me personally; it's completely the opposite on DS9.  I say this, among other, selfish gushing reasons, because I know it's maligned for reasons I can't quite fathom other than maybe it was because it was always on at the same time as another Trek, so I'm just going to take this opportunity to say WATCH IT.  "Way of the Warrior", the s4 premiere, is probably one of my favorite episodes of anything, ever.

--I am subsisting almost purely on bagels and mozzarella sticks.  It's so much harder to eat correctly when you don't have a convenient dining hall in your dorm.

--Michigan lost last weekend, first time this year, and I didn't even get to see the end of the game because the Big Ten Network can't fathom that some people can't change their own cable company and banhammered all the live streams.  I fucking hate the internet sometimes.

--Re: Obama.  WTF?  If anything, it's nice to see that he's just as confused as the rest of us.  Poor guy.  Been in office eight months and gets the NOBEL PEACE PRIZE.  The worst part is, I know the crazies are going to use this against him, like he asked for it.  (I actually texted my dad to ask Annika why all the Swedes had gone mad.)  Oh well.  Hopefully he'll use it as a prop to push himself to really work towards something (like, I dunno, healthcare).

Anime club was amazing again today, but something really weird happened after.  This guy (I don't remember his name, but don't take that as an indicator because I'm horrible with names), who I'm not sure was there last time or not, starts shamelessly flirting with me in between animes; I don't get flirted with a lot so I went along with it.  Then at the end of club he asks me, you know, indicatively, if I like brownies, and I guess there was a misunderstanding there because I thought that there were some at the club, or something, I dunno, clearly I'm not much with the thinking, but long story short we ended up sharing a sundae at Uno and I don't even know, I don't know how to tell if you're on a date, and normally I would be thrilled but everything about this guy screamed Nice Guy and now he's got my AIM and my facebook.  He just came on incredibly strong, and I don't even know if he meant it to be romantically (I mean, I'm like 99% sure, but I'm almost never right about these things, take The Boy), but, for instance I mentioned that I was going to a concert this Sunday (Richard Thompson!!) and he sort of half insinuated he'd want to get a ticket last minute and go, things like that.  He never talked about himself, only me.  I tried to push the conversation in the balanced direction but it kept coming back.  I don't have like an overshare line, I'm okay with it, but I know next to nothing about this guy and I just basically spent the entire night with him (NOT IN THAT WAY).  I mean, I don't think he's gonna be a creeper and stalk me, hopefully, but it was just really strange and weird and it sucks because god knows I'd love to go out on a frigging date, you know, once, maybe, in my life, but why do I only ever attract guys who drip neediness and insecurity and make me feel like this?  I mean, I'm pretty sure I have my own issues, because almost every time I've ever been flirted with I was a) sure the guy was lying and just trying to get into my pants and b) hyperconscious and desperate to get away as fast as possible.  So, yeah, a lot of this is probably me reflecting onto this guy, but, I don't want to jump into any sort of relationship, platonic or not, because I'm completely unable to break things off with people and if he does turn out to be needy stalkish guy then I don't even know what I'll do.  HELP GUYS.  This is totally rambly and incoherant and probably hyperparanoid but god fucking damn it, I just want a guy who's flirtation strategy doesn't entirely revolve around the other person to ask me out eventually, because it is really fucking giving me a complex.

( Long weekend is LONG but awesome. )

Also have a meme!  I know I've done this already but I have some new stuff and I want to play again.

♫ MUSIC LOTTERY ♫

⇒ Pick a number or two between 1 and 4569.
⇒ I'll find the corresponding track in my iTunes library.
⇒ Said track will be uploaded for your listening pleasure.
⇒ PROFIT!
(Some of this stuff is itunes-locked, so if that's the case I'll tell you and you pick another number, k?)

So the other day I was thinking about The Aeneid, you know, as you do, and I jokingly posted on my FB status that I wanted a t-shirt that said "Virgil wrote Homer fanfiction". Well. Guess what came in the mail today. From my mother. I am really not sure what to do with this. The shirt and the fact that my mother just bought me something with the word "fanfiction" on it. Also, I really want to wear it, but I'm not sure of a place I could wear it where it won't get weird stares. Because IT SAYS "VIRGIL WROTE HOMER FANFICTION" ON IT and DID I MENTION THIS WAS SENT TO ME BY MY MOTHER? She went to the trouble to make it on zazzle and everything!

Monday my dad texted me with "Annika just almost spilled her drink on Michael Moore". (totally legit, too-- they were at the opening of the Esquire house, which was the brunt of Annika's job the past couple months).  I am going to write a fucking hilarious memoir someday.

The 7 days meme:
day one • a song
day two • a picture
day three • a book/ebook/fanfic
day four • a site
day five • a youtube clip
day six • a quote
day seven • whatever tickles your fancy

Michigan won again today <3 but I won't rant to you because it wasn't quite as intense and goddamn, if they don't beat Eastern Michigan there is no hope for any of us.  Just gonna say I think they should put Forcier and Robinson in at the same time and run some trick plays, cause there is an opportunity there I feel we are missing.  (I'm going to be there in one week!  I'm ludicrously excited.)

Yesterday I went to the BU ANIME CLUB, which was the most fun I've had with other people around in a long time.  It was the first meeting, so everyone was introducing themselves and being awkward, and the people there were all sufficiently nerdy, obvs, so we talked about tons of things other than anime (including Trek XI <33 which one guy said he thought was mediocre because it just used tried scifi tropes.  Whatever, dude, Trek TOS invented half of modern scifi, so you can shut your hole.)  The anime we watched were To Aru no Majitsu no Index and Toradora.  Toradora was a hilarious if totally formulaic shoujo high school anime, the whole outcast-meets-tsundere-and-will-they-or-wont-they-commences thing, but it was pretty clever in the way it handled the story and the two main characters were really endearing, so you didn't mind so much that it was blatantly obvious.  And it was really, really funny.  To Aru was... well, a bit nuts.  We watched three episodes and no one had any clue what the hell was going on.  Lots of magic battles and Yuki-from-Haruhi expies and loli teachers in bunny suits and crazy junior high girls with electric powers.  I dunno.  They also had an anime songs contest, in which I felt old and out of the loop because I barely knew any of them (except Cowboy Bebop and Azumanga Daioh, which incidentally I hopefully convinced one of the other kids to read the manga of, because he didn't know that it was a short yonkoma and not, like, forever long.  Eee I hope he reads it.)  But we all talked about Toonami and bad Yugioh episodes and ate pocky and were stereotypes and everyone thought I was a weirdocake because, well, I say things like weirdocake, but they weren't wigged by it so it was really really awesome.  I'm a little sad that I won't get to go next week, but not sad enough that I'd stay home from Michigan ;)

I watched the premier of Bones and the second episode of Supernatural on Thursday-- I'm so depressed about Bones, it really did a steep dive off the crap cliff.  I wish they'd focus on the ensemble more instead of teasing Booth/Brennan all the time, which is ludicrous because we know they both love each other and are going to get together, and the supporting cast entirely suffers for it and the cases are really dull.  It's just not interesting to watch anymore.  Hopefully they'll get together or stop eating the show, in which case I'll watch again (or if Zack or Stephen Fry come back), but for now I think I'm done.  Supernatural, on the other hand, just keeps getting better.  The second episode wasn't quite as good as the first, but it was a hell of a good time with lots of gunfighting and shouting and Castiel and freaking Horsepersons (omg, so excited to meet all of them, SPN can only do them rockingly.  Someone on the writing staff has read Good Omens.  They need to do a "people covered in fish" shoutout.), and still with lots of hilarity.  I just want to go around yelling IF YOU FIND GOD, TELL HIM TO SEND LEGS.  And Cas telling Dean in no uncertain terms that God was not on a tortilla in Mexico was gold.  (I think it's kind of funny that in all this talk of God and Lucifer and the Bible and stuff, they never mention Jesus at all.  Are there, like, licensing rights or something?  They clearly have no problem with blasphemy.)  And YAY, bringing back former recurring characters (and two fantastic females at that).  It's just escalating and escalating and they are having no problems whatsoever keeping themselves consistant. 

I really really really want to go do karaoke but I have no one to go with.  :|

they are making a movie about John Keats

they are making a movie about John Keats and Fanny Brawne

guys you really have no idea how in love with this man and this couple I am

it's out september 18 but according to IMDB it's limited release which means it might not be in Boston if it isn't I will absolutely die

oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god

hnnnnggghhhhffffffffffffffffff

edit: according to moviefone it's playing a small theater in new york and that's IT i may have to go down there in all seriousness

NGL, this weekend was all about the football for me. And HOLY CRAP. I mean.. HOLY CRAP. First Central Michigan beats Michigan State in the CRAZIEST ending -- that State linesman who was offsides is going to KICK HIMSELF FOREVER -- then UMICH UMICH UMICH beats Notre Dame in ANOTHER CRAZY ENDING. I live and die with this team, and I was dying.



AUUUGHHHH.  No one thought we were gonna pull this one out, no one, and man, Tate Forcier just jumped like seventy billion points in my book.  Guy is smart, he can run, and he doesn't choke at all.  Smooth as chrome, this one, and he's younger than me, which is weird weird weird.  And then USC beat OSU in a great shootout, which was just the icing on the cake.  The year is looking MERVEILLEUSE.  And then the Giants win today!  I was so worried 'cause we lost Plaxico and Toomer but Smith and Manningham (a UMich grad!!) just stepped right up to the plate and then Osi scored, pumpkin what, we are so deep at defense it wigs me.

Anyway.  Besides football I mostly did homework this weekend, except when I was doing homework while watching football.  I NEED TO BE IN ANN ARBOR RIGHT NOW.  Two weeks is too much to wait!! 

I'm still piecing together the TNG rec post and trekking (...) through DS9.  Guys, I'm kind of in love with Garak.  I'm such a sucker for the charismatic, morally grey guys.  Actually, there is a much higher percentage of characters I genuinely care about in DS9 than in TNG, though I think the ensemble feel is stronger in the latter.  I really adore some of these people, whereas I was sort of meh about the TNG characters (and overwhelmingly the ones I want to read fic about are fascinatingly underexplored one-shots).  I've also been watching a ton of Frasier, which I might end up with a recs post before TNG, because it's much less knitted together, as sitcoms are.  Goddamn, this show is funny.  Everyone ever should see An Affair To Forget at least once.

Just finished watching Obama's healthcare speech.  I'm glad he did it, even if every time I watch one of these things I worry that something awful is going to happen (it just doesn't seem safe to have all these high ranking people in the same room at once).  I do think that he sent out some indicator balloons that he'll be forced to comprimise more than he'd like, but I think that was inevitable, with the economy in the tank and all.  People are jumpy and Americans have been so indoctrinated into the healthcare system we have set up that it's a little dumb, but forgivable IMO if they want to cling to the healthcare they already have (even if, as Obama stated, the plan will not force anyone to give up coverage).  I really think it was a bad idea to play the Ted Kennedy card; no matter how relevant, it's gonna seem pandering.  And it blows my frigging mind that a member of bloody Congress (edit: CNN says Joe Wilson (R-SC) ) had the balls to yell out "liar" when Obama declared that the plan would not require coverage for illegal immigrants.  You are a representative of your district, jackass, no matter how hard you oppose the plan you do not yell derogatory remarks in the middle of the President's remarks in the goddamn Capitol.  Jesus H. Christ.  But, I hope that if there's media coverage of that moment, it doesn't eat the healthcare remarks, as the media is wont to do with sensationalist things.  The important thing is that this is a really important speech about one of the touchstone political problems of our time, and it deserves the parsing it should get.

A supernatural glitch in your DVR occurs. At first you panic, hitting lots of random buttons on your remote control, but then are RELIEVED to discover that no, your entire series recording of Golden Girls has not been deleted! But then, just as things appear to be back to normal, there's a puff of smoke, and a fairy appears! You have apparently freed the TV fairy from a televised hell in which she was made to watch endless reruns of Are You Hot?, and as fairies tend to be when freed, she is very grateful and wants to grant you magic wishes.

I would like to know who wrote this meme. I want what they're smoking.

Now, the fairy has only TV-related powerz, and so she offers you the chance to go back in time and retroactively CHANGE the history of your favorite TV shows with 3.5 wishes!

You can go back in time and erase from the fabric of TV history THREE individual episodes of any TV show you want! The rest of the series(es) will not be altered. What do you choose?

1) "The Outcast" from Star Trek The Next Generation season 5. It's embarrassing. Let me count the ways: implies all sexualities other than heterosexuality to be perverted, check; portrays asexuality as evil, check; ignores the mind rape of a woman to focus on how her no longer having sexuality makes Riker cry man tears, check... and all this supposedly as an allegory of homophobia. Wow.

2) "The Pain In The Heart", Bones' season 3 finale. In an effort to wrap up an entire half season's storyline in one episode, the writers come out of nowhere to write Zack off the show in the most bizarre, character derailing, and convoluted manner possible. Plus the mind-blowingly-stupid "Booth recovered from getting shot in the chest in a week, faked his death and attended his own funeral without telling anyone" storyline.

3) "Stranger In A Strange Land" from Lost season 3. Easily the nadir of the show, with bad acting on the part of everyone, racefail all around, and a reason for Jack's mysterious tattoos that sounds like someone threw darts at a plot wall. Also the last straw for many fans, who would stop watching here, before the brilliant back half of the season that revitalized the show, so keeping those people is a bonus.

You can go back in time and revive ONE unfairly cancelled television show and return it to the annals of TV history!* *CHOOSE WISELY, because if you attempt to revive more than one show, the wish will backfire and you'll instead be treated to a whole bunch of crappy made-for-TV "reunion" movies full of replacement actors.

1) Moonlight.  I'm sure most people will pick Firefly, but even with the sudden cancellation that show feels like a cohesive unit.  Moonlight was cancelled for, one can only assume, CBS-doesn't-want-a-vampire-show reasons, considering it was getting 8 million viewers on a Friday and was steadily growing its proverbial beard.  It may have been panned by critics originally, but by the fourth episode it evolved into a great show, easily stepping out of the shadow of Forever Knight and Angel with a ridiculous cool and inventive vampire mythology, intense romantic storyline, and deceptively nuanced characters.  It's still the only show in which I actively ship a couple to the point of adamantly refusing to see them with anyone else, it made me like Sophia Myles after previously comparing her to a dowel rod, and Mick St. John easily tops my Favorite Vampire list. There was nothing not to like about the show and I was devastated when it was gone.  I would love to see how the mythology and characters would have evolved over three or four seasons.  /obnoxious gushing

To balance out the historical TV viewing schedule, you now have the power to retroactively CANCEL, at any point during the series, any one show! Alternately, you can wield your destructive might and DELETE one whole entire series from ever having been made.

1) This one is super easy.  The West Wing after season 4.  Problems I may have with Aaron Sorkin (for one thing, you lose all credibilty to make fun of the internet when you name your fansite "lemon lyman"), but when a guy writes all but three of the show's episodes, when he leaves there are going to be issues.  The final three seasons derailed, killed, or abused for no good reason almost every single main character except Bartlet (Toby, Leo and Fitz are the most infuriating examples), the plotlines weren't nearly as intricate and interesting, the few women characters who already existed had their roles significantly diminished, and weird real-life associations aside, the Santos storyline was not enough to save the show.  Better to mercy-kill it, even if it does leave the world on Sorkin's "you'll never be able to write yourself out of this one" cliffhanger.

LIFE AND DEATH! You can now bring ONE character back from the dead... and, to restore the balance, you must also kill off a character! They don't have to be from the same fandom.

1) I bring back NATASHA YAR, of TNG.  This is not even a question.  A woman chief of security?  Who's respected and not a pet of the male characters?  Who's feminine instead of a lesbian stereotype?  Who isn't punished for having a sex life?  Who's love interest is Data?  This was one of the few "let's be ~progressive~" things Star Trek got right, and she's the most interesting thing in all of her reappearences (Sela not withstanding).  Tasha is in my top-three favorite TNG characters and I really think the show would have benefitted with her in.

2) I kill off Lana Lang of Smallville.  She not only ate the show, she was completely uninteresting, mediocrely acted, had no chemistry with Tom Welling, and fostered no sympathy.  The worst backfire of a Woobie ever, and the writer's attempt to do a 180 with her and turn her ~ambiguously evil~ backfired as well, making her still as bland and obnoxious, but now with a legitimate reason to hate her.  Way to go.  Can I replace her with Pete Ross?

Bonus tradeoff: you can delete a single scene, relationship pairing or plot arc from any series that gave you hives... AND you can plug in any one [scene, pairing, plot arc] that you never got to see!

1) The Kyle/Amanda plotline from Kyle XY could have really been done without.  Kyle and Jessi had way more chemistry and plotline potential from the moment she was introduced, and they did a great job of making Amanda almost as unlikable, petty and jealous as Lana (she was at least sweet and interesting before Kyle became her entire point on the series).  I still maintain that scifi structure aside, this show was one of the most lifelike depictions of teenagers out there, and the Kyle/Amanda story was the most unrealistic thing about it.

2) "Journey's End", the 4th season finale of Doctor Who, desperately needed a scene between Ten, Rose and Jack.  There's a lot of unresolved issues between the three of them, like, I dunno, Rose accidentally making Jack immortal and not knowing about it, that are now left forever hanging due to the resolutions of Jack and Rose's respective arcs.  There's a lot of great fix fic out there that writes this scene, but it really should have happened in-show.  It was already 90 minutes long, what's an extra five.